So Much Drama in the PhD
Monday, May 16th, 2005 at 2:36 am in Funny JunksLyrics that will make you laugh 
Archive for the 'Funny Junks' Category
A Haunted Marriage
Sunday, May 15th, 2005 at 1:46 am in Funny Junks, ScaryAn old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old woman would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
Neighbors feared her They believed she practiced blackmagic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.
The old woman liked the fact that she was feared. To everyone’s relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 68.
He had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, he went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
His neighbors, concerned for his safety, asked: “Aren’t you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?”
The Man put down his drink and said, “Let her dig.
I had her buried upside down…….”
Paris Hilton Interview
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005 at 10:00 pm in Funny Junks, Movies & TV
I was expecting Paris Hilton to slap Jimmy Fallon 
Download: paris-hilton-interview.wmv
Google Fun Logos
Monday, May 2nd, 2005 at 11:37 am in Funny Junks
Check out these Google funny logos!
Continue reading
Bill Gates Arrested
Monday, May 2nd, 2005 at 10:26 am in Funny Junks
The richest man in the world was arrested in New Mexico in 1977 after a traffic violation. It’s nice to know that Bill’s brief flirtation with a life of crime didn’t disrupt his plans to rule the world.
Locked Car Joke
Wednesday, April 20th, 2005 at 11:18 am in Funny JunksA woman received a phone call that her daughter
was very sick with a fever.
She left work and stopped by the pharmacy for
some medication for her daughter. Upon returning
to her car, she found she had locked her keys
inside. She had to get home to her sick daughter,
and didn’t know what to do. She called home and
the baby sitter told her that her daughter was
getting worse.
The baby sitter suggested that she get a coat
hanger to unlock the door. The woman found an
old rusty coat hanger on the ground, as if someone
else had locked their keys in their car. Then she
looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t know how to
use this.”
She bowed her head and asked God for help. An
old rusty car pulled up, driven by a dirty, greasy,
bearded man with a biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, Dear God, is this is what you
sent to help me?” But she was desperate, and
thankful. The man got out of his car and asked if
he could help.
She said “Yes, my daughter is very sick. I must
get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger
to unlock my car?”
He said, SURE. “He walked over to the car and in
seconds the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she
said, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
You are a very nice man.”
The man replied, “Lady, I ain’t a nice man. I just
got out of prison for car theft.”
The woman hugged the man again and cried out
loud, “THANK YOU GOD FOR SENDING ME A
PROFESSIONAL!”
Materialistic World
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005 at 9:43 am in Funny JunksAn eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair, impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps out of the car and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them, “Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation, but I’ll take charge. If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy wil be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?”
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him, “Then you try again.”
The Missing Cock
Thursday, April 7th, 2005 at 1:10 pm in Funny JunksThe priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock went missing! The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.
During Mass, he asked the congregation, “Has anybody got a cock?”
All the men stood up.
“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?”
All the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”
Half the women stood up.
“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?”
All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
Many Versions of Li Bai’s Poem
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005 at 8:15 pm in Funny JunksIf you know the Chinese version of the famous poem by Li Bai, you will appreciate the Singlish version better.
Very funny revised versions of Li Bai’s poem…must know a bit of Hokkien to understand…read on…
(English Version)
‘The moon light is pouring down on my bedside
like white frost spreading on the ground
I look up the bright round moon in the sky
and lower my head thinking of my dear hometown’
(Singlish Version)
‘Bedfront Moon Bright Bright
Think is Floor White White
Lift Head see Moon Moon
Bow Head Miss Home Home….
(Ah-Beng Version)
‘Bedfront Orr Pi Sai (pick nose)
Think Think Go Pang Sai (go shit)
Look up in the sky
Poem is a waste of time.’
(latest Reservist Army version)
‘Bedfront Lauuuuu Bark Sai (tears drop)
Think Think have to go Excercise ( Reservist mobilization)
Drop dead look into the sky (Run until no breathe)
Tong Kor Sia Lang Chai (My heartache nobody knows)…’
